Sealed My Fate
by 22girlsin1
Summary: Sequel to Weekend Lover. Andrea is lost after Shane Walsh is murdered. Philip is more then happy to be there for her. But can she trust Philip? Or will she listen to friends that still disprove of their relationship? What will happen with Shane's baby? Will Andrea break away from Philip? Or is her fate sealed?
1. Chapter 1

**Sealed My Fate**

_Sequel to Weekend Lover._

Andrea is lost after Shane Walsh is murdered. Philip is more then happy to be there for her. But can she trust Philip? Or will she listen to friends that still disprove of their relationship? What will happen with Shane's baby? Will Andrea break away from Philip? Or is her fate sealed?

For WalkerGirl19. She always inspires me to write more!

1\. Dead Inside

_Philip had saved my life, but part of me wish he hadn't. How could I live with Shane? Why I had wasted so much time rejecting him? _

If I could do it over it again I would have married him as soon I finished high school. I would have stayed in Florida, and had ten babies by him. We still be living there now.

But you don't get go back in time I thought sadly. I was alive, but I felt dead inside. I had not gotten out bed all day.

"I brought you some tea," Philip said walking inside the guestroom.

"Thank you. I hope my being here won't cause any problems with Lilly. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable," I said taking the blue mug from him.

"You don't have to worry about Lilly. That relationship did not work out," Philip said setting beside me on the bed. _I was not sure how I felt about him being so close to me._

"I'm sorry. She seemed like a sweet girl," I said sipping the tea.

"Well, she decided to get back with the father of child. I don't want to split up someone's family," Philip replied his arms around me.

"You are all about family, aren't you?"

"Yeah. That was the only thing I ever did right. I worked my ass of to take care of my wife and Penny," Philip whispered.

"You have been good with Emily too. She's lucky to have you as father," I said moving closer to him and placing the empty mug on the floor. _I did not want to give him the wrong idea, but I needed consoling. _

"I am the lucky one," He murmurs.

"No, we are. I honestly I would have fallen apart the other night if it was not for you. I just can't imagine my life without Shane," I said fresh tears coming to my face.

He says nothing, but wraps his arms all the way around me. _My head falls into his lap as I continue to cry._

"It's okay, baby," Philip whispers into my ear.

"I can't sleep. I cry all night. When I do sleep I have nightmares about Shane. If I had only gotten there sooner."

Philip gently runs his fingers through my blonde hair smoothing it out.

"You can always come to me when you have nightmares," he says, his voice gentle.

"That's kind of you," I reply looking into his light brown eyes.

"I want to comfort you."

"Do you think I could sleep with you tonight then? Just lay down beside you. That would be to weird, huh?"

"No, that would not be weird at all." He kisses my hair and wraps arms even tighter around me. Suddenly I find my eyes getting heavy.

"I am so tired," I yawn.

"Sleep baby," he whispers and I drift off.


	2. Chapter 2

**2\. Rick Grimes**

_Andrea was miserable. She had laying in bed the last two days. I was trying to be patient, but that was not in my nature. _

Killing Shane had given me such a high. A sense of power. That was a moment of righteous, and I wanted that feeling again. I wanted to be in control. I wanted to have sex with Andrea, but I was having to wait. And that was something I was not good at.

There she was asleep in my lap. _So closed but I could still not have her. _

However, I would look. I carefully unbutton her tee-shirt she wearing, and touched her breasts. Feeling her body in my hands again was indescribable feeling. I wanted to take her now, but I stopped myself. I knew I would wake her up, and that would cause trouble. I would not go there unless I had too. I did not want to be the bad guy. _No matter how much I wanted my prize._

I bottomed her shirt back up, and leave her sleeping on the bed. I walked into Emily's room to see her sleeping in her crib. Maybe, I should cook Andrea some dinner, I thought when I hear a knock at the door. I opened it seeing a younger guy that looked familiar. _Where did I know him from?_

"I am Rick Grimes," he said clearly.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes.I am here to see Andrea."

"Well, she is sleeping. Maybe you should come back," I said almost closing the door.

"I can't just come back. I came all the way from Florida to see her. Could you please tell her I am here," Rick insists.

"You should have called," I answer firmly. I was getting ready to slam the door in his face when Andrea walks in the living room. Still in pajamas, she looks up at this stranger with a smile.

"Rick," She beams.

"Andrea, I had to come back to see you. I have been so worried," Rick whispers.

"That is so sweet of you. Where is Lori and the baby?"

"There at home. Lori did not feel like traveling. But after our last phone call I had to come here."

"Philip, this is Rick Grimes. I am sure he has already introduced himself to you. But we grew up together. He was best friends with Shane," Andrea flushes. _Who is this guy? And why is he making Andrea blush? Who is Lori? What the hell was going on?_

"It's nice to meet you. I am Philip Blake. Emily's father," I said calmly to Rick.

"Yes, I know. Shane told me all about you. But Andrea I was going to take you out for dinner. Maybe I should come back since your still in your pajamas," Rick answers.

"Yes, you better," I answered for her.

"No, I want to go with Rick. I mean he came all this way. You don't mind to watch Emily, do you?"

"If you are up to it. Then I don't mind. Would be good for you to get out," I answer her.

"Just let me go change clothes," Andrea says leaving the room.

"Would you like some Whiskey?" I offered Rick.

"No," He answers shaking his head.

Andrea comes back in the room wearing a low-cut black dress, and matching sandals. She has fixed her hair and she is wearing makeup. Who is this guy? Another old boyfriend?

"We won't be gone long," Andrea says taking the stranger's hand.

_I want to tell her to get her ass back in the house, but I say nothing. I watch as she walks off with whoever this Rick guy is. Maybe, I am overreacting. This guy seems concerned about Andrea, but not interested in her._


	3. Chapter 3

3\. Warnings

Rick is here to see me. Being around Rick brings me a small amount of happiness. If only because I feel close to Shane again.

"Is this restaurant any good?"

"If you still like Pizza," I said smiling.

"You know I love pizza. Remember that summer we practically lived off of Bruno's pizza?"

"Yes. Is that place still open?"

"Sure is. We get pizzas there on Friday nights still," Rick says as he parks the car.

We walk in the restaurant hand in hand. The hostess assuming we are a couple sets us in an intimate booth in the corner.

"Are you getting a beer with your pizza?"

"No, Rick," I answer, sullenly.

"Why not?"

"I am pregnant."

"With Philip's baby again?" Rick grumbles.

"No. This is Shane's baby. Not that it is any of your business," I said crossly.

"Your right. I am sorry, Andrea," Rick says staring at me with those blue-green eyes.

"Apology accepted."

"Are you ready to order?" The waitress asks, smiling at Rick.

"We need a large pizza. Half sausage and half pepperoni, and a pitcher of coke," Rick answers her quietly.

I smile as he orders what the exact thing we used to eat at Bruno's. I could see Shane there now with a slice of pepperoni pizza and can of coke. What would I do to see Shane now? Why could not be here with us sharing this pizza? Why did he have to die?

"What is on your mind?"

"Shane and you," I tell Rick honestly.

"Me?"

"Yes. Why did you come all this way? I know it's not to eat at Upper Crust Pizza with me," I whisper.

The waitress arrives bringing our pizza and drinks. She places them on the tables as we stare at each other, blue eyes to blue-green.

"You're right Andrea. I am here because of Amy," Rick said quietly.

"Amy? My sister?"

"Yeah. She could not leave. She is studying for finals, but she is worried about you."

"I am fine. You can tell her that. I don't want her to worry," I said taking a sip of coke. I look at the pizza, but I can't bring myself to eat anything.

"Eat," Rick commands handing me a plate with a slice of pizza on it.

Reluctantly I put the pizza up to my mouth and take a bite. I can barely taste it. I am completely numb. I take another bite and look at Rick. He is more relaxed now that I am eating.

"You aren't fine. You are pregnant, but you look like you have lost weight. Also you are back with him," Rick says clearly.

"You mean Philip? We are not together. He is Emily's father, and he is helping me out. That's all," I said annoyed. _Why was Rick so concerned?_

"Amy does not want you near him. And from what I have seen I don't blame her. He was drinking whiskey in the middle of the day," Rick says taking my hand.

"Look, I don't why everyone does not like Phillip. He loved me so much it came off creepy. But he has a good heart," I said defending Philip yet again.

"Andrea, we love you. I don't want you to get involved with someone who will hurt you. I think you should come home to Florida. Bring Emily and let your parents take care of you until you get back on your feet. If you don't want to stay with them I talked to Lori and you'd be welcome at our home too," Rick says squeezing my hand.

Part of me wants to go with Rick. Staying with him and Lori does not sound that bad. But I don't want to get in his way, or my parents. For some reason I feel like Philip was the only one who could help me. He lost his wife and he understands how lost I feel. Besides my work and life is here. What is left of my life.

"I have a job here. And Emily loves her daddy," I said breaking away from Rick's stare.

"I understand, but we all have a bad feeling about Philip. If you change your mind call me. I'll come back for you," Rick says calmly.

The waitress returns, and Rick hands her a credit card without checking the bill. She quickly brings back the card. He signs the receipt.

"I should take you back. You look tired," Rick says taking my hand.

He drives me back to Philip's house. We sit in silence on the way back. Rick pulls up to the house and we look into each other's eyes.

"God, I miss Shane," I admitted to him.

"Me too," Rick says touching my face with his hand.

"I wish I could go back in time for just a few minutes. I just want to look into his chocolate-brown eyes one last time," I whisper.

"I know how much you loved Shane. Please don't go back to Philip. Andrea, I promised Amy I would bring you home," Rick pleads.

"I'll be fine," I promise Rick.

"If something happens to you, I would not be able to live with myself. I feel like I should protect you now that Shane is gone," His voice is low and soft. I wrap my arms around Rick, giving him a quick hug.

"I'll be okay. But I will call you if I decide to come to Florida. I will really think about it," I tell Rick getting out the car.

"You promise to call me if you feel like you are in any danger at all at?"

"Yes. But Phillip would never hurt me. Goodbye Rick," I said getting out his car.

"Bye Andrea," Rick says giving me one last look before he drives away.

I walk into the house, and find Philip waiting for me in the living room.

"Do you feel better after going out?"

"No, I guess I am not ready," I said tears falling down my face.

Philip smiles at me warmly. "You will be. You just need some more time. Now let's get you to bed." He the kisses my forehead and takes my hand. _I follow him to his bedroom. Tonight I will let him hold me. I'll close my eyes and pretend that I am in Shane's arms. Then and only then will I be able to sleep soundly._


	4. Chapter 4

**4\. Questions**

There were so many questions I had for Andrea when she got home. I wanted to know who this Rick guy was, and why they seemed so comfortable together.

But any questions I had were put on hold when I saw the sadness in her face. No, she was not going out a date with this Rick guy, I decided. There was nothing romantic between them.

_I lead her to the bedroom and she followed with no questions. God, I wanted her. _

I unzipped her black dress, and unhook her black bra. I see her as blush as my hands touch her skin. I place one of my old tee-shirts over her head.

"Are you sure this won't be weird?"

"No," I murmur, looking at her beautiful face. I take of my belt, and feel my erection growing. _How could this girl get me so hot and bothered in a baggy tee-shirt and black cotton underwear? Because she is Andrea, and everything about her is flawless._

"I don't know what I do without you," Andrea says kissing my cheek. I see her eyes watch me as I take of my pants. In my briefs I know she can see my erection, and I don't even bother hiding it. _I want her to know how bad I want her. _

"I am here for you. I always will be," I said taking her in the bed.

"I trust you," she says glancing up at me. The lights are already turned off, and it's hard to see her face in the darkness, but I think I make out a smile. I put my arm around her and she moves closer into my arms. I feel my body tighten at her touch. Not, yet I tell myself.

**5\. Waiting**

Waking up in Philip's arms causes my body to warm all over. I find myself feeling guilty. Shane just died and I was in bed with another man? What the fuck are you doing? I am surviving, I thought to myself.

"Good morning," Philip whispers in my ear.

"You too," I said moving out of the bed. I look at my cell phone, and see a text message from Rick. He is about to get about to get on an airplane to go home to Florida. _My whole body feels with sadness thinking about it. Seeing Rick had brought me back in time, and for a moment it felt like Shane would walk in the restaurant . Rick was a connection to Shane, and now I was losing him too. But Rick had a wife and family to get home to. I could not expect him to stay here._

"What is wrong?"

"Rick is going back to Florida. I am a little bummed out about it. It was nice having him visit. Made me feel closer to Shane. But he could not stay long. He had to get back to his wife and baby," I said looking at the ground.

"Well, maybe I could take you to Florida sometime. And I could meet some of you other friends," he whispers moving closer to me.

"I'd like that. If you and I to go out-of-town sometime. I could use a change of scenery," I said moving closer to him.

He places his hands on my face, and moves his lips closer to mine. I lean in, kissing him back slowly. His arms are wrapped around me, and he is leading me to the bed. He removes the tee-shirt I have on. I close my eyes as he starts to kissing my neck. Suddenly I feel him pressing his dick against me. I open my eyes, seeing him naked.

"I am not ready. It's too soon. I can't stop thinking about Shane," I said pushing against his chest with my hands.

"Andrea, it's time to move forward," Philip whispers taking my hands into his. I find myself getting lost in his touch, but I know I can't. _Not yet. Maybe not ever._

"I want to be with you, but I can't. I am sorry," I tell him as moves away from me slowly.

"You don't have to be sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you," Philip says looking into my eyes with understanding.

"Just give me some time," I whisper. Philip pulls me into his arms, kissing me, and running his fingers through my hair. Our tongues press against each others, his hands moving lower on my body. He then slowly pulls away and looks into my blue eyes.

"I'll wait, Andrea," he says smiling.


	5. Chapter 5

**6\. Memories**

_The weekend was over. Philip was going back to work, and I was going to drop Emily of at the daycare. Then I could stop by the office. I needed to get back to work, I told myself._

But even being at the office brought back memories of my sweet Shane. I still could not wrap my mind around the fact that he was really gone.

"Hey, you sure that you want to go to work today?"

"I need to go back. Like you said I need to move forward," I said dryly.

Philip stares down at me with a concerned look, and I reach up touching his beautiful face.

"I don't want you over doing it. With your pregnancy and all this stress you have been under a few more days off might do you some good. I can take Emily to the daycare for you. And you can use my laptop. Work from home again today," he says forcefully.

"I am fine to go to work," I said softly.

"Please, do as I ask. I mean you just tried to kill yourself not to long ago. I just want to keep you save. You trust me, right?"

"Yes. I guess a few more days off of work won't hurt," I said looking into his light brown eyes.

"You get some more rest and make sure you eat today. Take care of that baby," Philip whispers in my ear.

"I love the way you take care of me," I said gently.

His eyes get big and his mouth opens. I hear him taking a deep breath. He looks vulnerable and almost scared.

"I do it because I still love you. I have loved you since the first time I saw you at the bar," he answers.

His confession of love is overwhelming to me. There was a point in my life where I wanted to be with him. I longed to touch and kiss his body. I had desired him. Not anymore. If I closed my eyes to think about the future I would not see Philip. I could not see anything. The only future I wanted was the one with Shane. Now after Shane's death I was completely numb.

Still, I could not say this Philip. He was not only the father of my child, but he also saved my life. This beautiful man was my hero, and he loved me. I could not cause him anymore pain.

"Philip, I.." I started to say.

"Look, Andrea I know you aren't in love with me. That you are still hurting. And you miss Shane. But someday you will move on. Someday you will love me. I don't mind waiting until then," Philip says calmly.

His light brown eyes stare into mine. There is a moment of silence between us. Our hands are locked together. We can hear each other breathing.

"I was thinking I would like to move into the house for good. That way Emily gets to be with you all the time, and I could sleep with you every night. If that is something you would want," I reply gently. This is the best I can offer.

"You want to stay here?"

"Yes if you want us too. The lease on my apartment is up and I am not moving to California now. So I am going to have to find somewhere to live," I admitted.

"You can stay here as long you like," Philip beams.

"I hope someday I can give you the type of relationship you want. But right I am just going to need time," I tell Philip kissing him quickly on the cheek.

"I understand, Andrea," Philip says. I watched as he gets Emily ready for daycare. I kiss her goodbye, and then I get ready to do work from the laptop.

_Philip takes one more look at me before he walks out the door. I know that he worships me, cherishes me, and loves me. I wish I could feel the same way, but I can't. Shane was my soul mate. You only get one of those._


	6. Chapter 6

**7\. Secrets**

I was laying down on the sofa watching soap operas when I heard a knock on the door. I already finished all my paperwork for court, and I was thinking about eating some lunch.

I opened the door, and saw I Rick standing there wearing blue jeans and a white shirt. _His dark blonde hair pushed out of his blue-green eyes. Why is he here?_

"I could not leave yet. I was just so worried about you," Rick said sweetly.

"I am glad to see you. But you have to leave today. Your family needs you," I say looking up at him.

"I know. Can I come in?"

"Sure," I say opening the door. Rick slowly walked inside closing the door.

"I want you to come with me. I need to keep you safe. Please say you'll leave with me this time," Rick pleads with his blue-green eyes.

"Rick, I can't. I would be in your way. You and Lori have your own life. I can't stay there. Besides Philip adores his daughter. I can't take Emily away from him. Not after everything that has happened with Shane."

"But this would be for the safety of your daughter. You've told me how Philip acted when Shane came back. How crazy obsessive he became," Rick said his hand on my face.

"I was pregnant, with his child. I mean how did I expect him to react? I lead him on way too long. That was my fault. I should have ended the minute I realize I did not love him," I said moving closer to Rick.

"Andrea, he had no right to treat you that way. Following you around town and screaming at you in public places. How long until he hurts you again? Do you want to spend your life walking on eggshells?"

"It won't be like that. Philip has never hurt me," I said slowly walking away.

"Damn it, Andrea. What can I do to make you realize Philip is trouble?"

"You can't. Because Philip is not trouble. I am not in love with him, but he knows me. He is the only guy who has ever known besides Shane. The only other guy who has loved me besides Shane," I said softly.

"That's not true, Andrea," Rick said taking my arm.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you. Probably better than Philip does. Or ever will," Rick said looking into my blue eyes.

"Well, yes you know me. But you never loved me. We never had that type of relationship," I whispered.

"That's not completely true," Rick said moving his arm on my back.

"What are saying?"

"Senior year. Remember the day Shane picked you up in his truck. When you were walking home from cheerleadering practice?"

"Of course, it was the day he finally realized I liked him," I said.

"Well, I knew you loved Shane. He told me that he was starting to have feelings for you, and I told him to go for it. Because I knew how much you loved him," Rick said.

"So?"

"I was going to ask you out that day. Lori and I had broken up for the hundredth time, and I always had feelings for you. I was afraid to act on to shy. Because I knew how you felt about Shane. I decided it was better to tell you then never know," Rick said his fingers now running through my blonde hair.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I knew you loved Shane. I wanted you to be happy. And besides I could not do that to my best was different before he had feelings for you," he whispered.

"Well, you should have told me then. But I don't know why you are telling me now."

"I just don't want you to think that you have to settle. Any guy would be lucky to have you. Please don't stay here," Rick said moving his lips closer to mine. Our lips pressed closer together, and I knew Rick was_ right._

_He knew me in a way Philip never would or could. This kiss made me realize there had been feelings between Rick and unspoken bond that I never knew about. Still these were feelings that could never be acted on. We both had other people to think about. This was not the pure love I shared with Shane, or the lustful feelings I had for Philip. This was something else completely. I didn't know what the word was for what this was. But I knew it was wrong._

"Rick, I can't do this. You have Lori and Carl to think about," I said breaking away from his kiss.

"Yes. I know. But Andrea I can not stop thinking about you. Ever since Shane died. I don't want to lose another person I love. You need to come home," Rick said moving away from me. My heart dropped as his body left my embrace.

"You won't lose me, Rick. We just can't go back. The carefree days of Shane, you, and me hanging out. Those days are over. Forever. We have to move forward. I can't go back to Florida. Not after that kiss. You need to focus on Lori and Carl. I need to focus on Emily and Philip," I said looking at Rick.

"I just want to know you will be safe and loved," Rick says.

"I will be ok. Now go home. Go back to Lori and Carl," I tell Rick forcefully.

_Rick gives me on last look with his blue-green eyes. And I know he is still concerned for my safety. He is such a good man, I thought to myself. And no one could ever know about this kiss. Never. It would cause too much pain for Rick's family, I thought_.


	7. Chapter 7

**8\. TIME**

I was coming home to see Andrea on my lunch break, and there Rick was. This man was showing up at our house once again. I was certain there was nothing going on with them. But now I was not so sure. I watch seeing Rick move closer and kiss her.

Andrea needed more time? Then why in the hell was she kissing this asshole? She is acting her age, I thought. An immature twenty six year old. Well, lucky for her I was there to teach her a lesson, I thought aggravated.

Rick was walking outside when our eyes meet. I wanted nothing more then to punch him in the face. I had already killed one man trying to keep Andrea. I could deal this one too.

"You need a ride to the airport? Andrea said you have a wife and baby to get home too," I smirk.

"No, thank you. I called a taxi," Rick said looking away from my stare.

"You know I think it be best if you left Andrea alone. Seeing you the other night really seem to upset her," I said looking at Rick.

"No one asks what you think," Rick answers angrily.

"Well, you are right what I think does not matter. But what your wife think does. I mean I saw that kiss in there. I see everything. Especially when it comes to Andrea," I said smiling wickedly.

_"Fuck you. You are obsessed with Andrea. The best thing would be for you to leave her alone. Shane told me about your death threats. It would not surprise if you where the one who killed him," Rick said angrily. _

_"Absolutely not. I have a solid alibi, and I have already been questioned by the police. You need to shut your mouth, and stay away from Andrea. Before I tell your wife what I just saw," I said walking past Rick._

_"My wife would not believe you. And it won't last with Andrea. She will find out what type of person you really are. Wait and see," Rick said before he got in the taxi. _

_I glared at him, and walked inside the house. Andrea was setting on the sofa looking sweet and innocent. She was dressed for the day in jeans and a low cut plum colored shirt. Her hair was curled, and she had make up on. Did she plan on Rick coming over? Had they done more than just kiss? I wanted to love Andrea, but she was not making it easy. I was really starting hate her. Maybe, I should have killed her instead of Shane. Then I would not have to deal with her mind games anymore. But she would learn who was in charge._

_"What are you doing here?"_

_"I thought I take you out to lunch, but then I saw you had company," I said walking closer. Now would be a perfect time for punishment, I thought. She had to learn and I was going to teach her. _

"Rick is gone. I told him not to come back," Andrea said moving closer to me_. She was not afraid. Maybe she should be. Was she only telling me what I wanted to hear now? Did she know somehow she been caught?_

"Why you do that?"

"Being around Rick makes me sad. He came here to convince me to move back to Florida. But I don't want too. Being there would just bring back old memories of Shane. I can't keep living in the past. Shane is not coming back. And I can't live my life like he is," Andrea says looking me in the eyes. _She was a good actress. If she was lying I was falling for it, I thought._

"So what are you going to do now?"

"I will always love Shane, and I'll have this baby to remember him by. Shane's child will always know who his father is. But this baby will need someone who can be here. A father figure. I need someone who is here too. I was thinking maybe that guy is standing in front of me."

"What do you mean? Please explain clearly, Andrea," I whispered.

"Well, you said I could move in. We share a daughter together, and you saved my life. I have started to look to you as my hero. The way you adore me. I could not ask for more. I want to try and have a relationship together. A real one this time. But only if you want," Andrea says sweetly taking my hand.

_Damn, I did not even want to punish her now. I was going soft when it came to Andrea. Clearly, she hadn't sex with Rick. I could not smell it on her, and I had not been gone long enough for her to shower twice. Still letting another man kiss was not something I could allow. But I would let it slide this time, I decided. She was not ready for a punishment yet. I could lose everything. I had worked hard to get Andrea and my daughter back here._

"Yes I want to. I want to be with you," I answered placing my hands on her hips.

"I know. And I remember how good it was. I just need a little more time," Andrea said calmly.

Damn, how long did this girl need? I was not a patient man.I had needs.

"I understand," I lied.

"There is something I should tell you. Rick kissed me. I don't know why, but it's not going to happen again," Andrea said taking my hand.

She was being honest, and I respected that. It showed she had loyalty to me now.

"It's fine. He was trying to take advantage of you. That's all," I said half-smiling.

"Rick wouldn't. It's not like that. But it does not matter. I am with you now," Andrea said not fighting the issue like she normally would.

"And I am with you. I love you. Promise me, no more Rick," I said bluntly.

"What do you mean no _more_ Rick?"

"I don't what you to see him ever again," I said loudly.

"Never see Rick again?"

"That's right. I mean what type of man tries to cheat on his wife ? A wife who is home with a new baby. You don't need someone like that in your life. It's your choice. You can be friends with Rick or stay with me," I said testing her. _She needed to learn I was in charge. _I was waiting on her next words. Would she leave or tell me she did not need a control freak? I stood there studying her face.

"Rick is harmless. I think the kiss was his way of trying to calm me down. We're not having an affair. You can trust me," Andrea said placing her hand on my chest.

"It's him or me."

"Rick is like family. I grew up with him my whole life, and I don't if I can never talk to him again. If you love me why can't you trust me?," Andrea said sorrowfully.

"I want to protect you. Please _trust me_. So do you want to stay with me or not?"

"Yes, I want to stay with you. I won't talk to Rick again," Andrea promised.

Good girl, I thought smiling.

"Good, you feel like going out for lunch?"

"Yes, we should stop by the daycare and get Emily. It will be our first lunch as a family," Andrea said sweetly.

"I would love that," I smiled back her_._

Andrea was learning that I was the one in control, and that would make things a lot easier for her in the long run.


	8. Chapter 8

**9\. Tonight**

_Philip had insisted I no longer to talk to Rick. Not only that I could not talk to Lori either. I tried to explain the kiss with Rick was a mistake. It meant nothing, but Philip was insecure, and I could not blame him. _

So I did as I was asked. What other choice did I have? Philip was doing everything to take care of Emily and I. The new baby too. So I felt like I owed him. Still I was not able to make love to him, and I knew he was getting impatient.

"Andrea, you have lived here for six weeks now. Can we please try to make love?"

"Not now. I need to get dress. I am going to Beth and Daryl's wedding today," I said getting out of bed.

"You didn't invite me?"

"I would love for you to go. It's just that some of my friends feel uncomfortable around you, and I figured it would be better if you skip this one," I said quietly.

"Well, I have to work anyways. I just got called in," Philip said harshly.

"I'll see when you get home?"

"Yes, of course. Lori and Rick aren't going to be there?"

"No. These are my friends here. Beth does not know Rick or Lori," I reassured him.

"You can go then. But I want to try tonight. I mean you agree it's time, right?"

"Yes, I just don't..," I said started to say before he cut me off.

"So after I get off work then we will try. Agree?"

"Okay," I said as he came up from behind me, and pressed his body against mine.

"How long has it been?"

"Huh?"

"Since you went to wedding. We will be having one soon. You think?"

"I can't remember the last wedding I went too," I said avoiding his another question.

"Well, I can't wait for tonight," Philip smiled at me wickedly.

I say nothing but nod in agreement. I was not ready to have sex with Philip. Maybe I shouldn't be here, I thought. But where did I have to go?

I did not want to go back to Florida. And I couldn't move to California. Not without Shane.

Honestly I did not want to do anything without Shane. I wanted to be dead. The idea of sex actually made me want to throw up. I could not imagine enjoying it with anyone who was not Shane.

Not that I enjoyed anything anymore. I was still numb to all feelings. I did not feel anything, and I was to the point it did not bother me.

_If only I was not pregnant I could drink enough to get through sex with Philip tonight. But that was not even an option._


	9. Chapter 9

**10\. Wedding**

Taking Emily to this wedding was the last thing I wanted to do. I could have used Philip there to hold my hand and help me through it. But of course my friends disapproved of us getting back together. They did not like Philip and never would.

I walked inside the church and find a seat beside Carol.

"Don't you girls look pretty? You are starting to show a little," Carol grinned.

"Thank you," I said quietly. _Looking at the beautiful church with the pink roses everywhere made me think of my wedding to Shane. My surprise wedding. Could Shane have been more romantic?_

_I seat there ,holding my little girl ,watching Beth walk down the aisle. Beth looked so beautiful in lacy white dress that had a light pink sash around it. Her blonde hair was slicked back in a bun. I watched her and Daryl promised to love each other forever. I saw their smiles at each other, their laughter, and the way he held her while dancing. They were young and in love. Just like Shane and I were, I thought heartbroken. But unlike Shane and I, these two had their whole lives to forward too._

"Andrea, are you okay?" Carol asked seeing tears on my face.

"Yeah. I think I am going to take Emily home. She needs a nap. You give Beth and Daryl my love? I didn't get a chance to see them," I said gently.

"Of course, but if you need to talk I can go with you," Carol offers in her motherly tone.

"No, that's all right. You stay here, and have a good time," I said taking Emily in my arms. Carol nods and walks over to talk to Tyreese. _I take one last look at the happy couple, and walk out._

"I hope you get a special day like that Emily. I had one with your stepfather Shane. You were still in my tummy then," I whisper in Emily's ear. I place her in the car seat, slowly shouting the car door. _I drive away with images of Shane in my head. I see us going on our first date, the first time we made love, and the last moment I looked into his chocolate-brown eyes. No more weddings for me in the near future, I decided. _

One good thing about leaving early I did not have to hear my friends tell me how toxic my relationship with Philip is, I thought as I pulled in the driveway. I carry a sleeping Emily into the house and put her in bed. I touch her dark hair and look down her with love.

"Andrea," Philip says walking in the room.

"I thought you were at work," I reply taken back by his presence.

"I left early. I could not wait to get back home to you," Philip said grabbing my hand. He leads me into the bedroom.

"I don't know if I am in the mood now," I admit looking into his light brown eyes, and over at the bed.

"Let's get you in the mood. I know what you are thinking about. And setting here thinking about him won't change anything. Although I really wish it could. But it won't. You can not go on living your life like you are dead. Anyone can die at any moment , Andrea," Philip whispers unzipping my white dress.

"And what do you suggest we do since our death is inevitable?"

"Don't live in the past, Andrea. Don't live with boundaries and rules. And mostly don't be scared to take what you want," Philips says removing my dress, tossing it on the floor. He unhooks my white bra, and slides off my matching panties. _Today, I knew Philip would not be taking no as an answer. And I was almost scared to tell him no when he was determined. _

I get on the bed and lay there naked. I cover myself up with the covers. While I am laying there he takes off his blue work shirt. I then hear him remove his belt, unzips his pants, and throw them on the floor. Now he gets in bed with me.

"What do you want Philip?" I asked finally.

"You ," he answers placing his lips against mine. I close my eyes kissing him back. His tongue moves forcefully against mine. Kissing me hard. He removes his lips from mine. Then starts kissing my neck, and touching my body with his hands. My body starts to tremble, as he continues kissing me everywhere. I couldn't tell him no now. He goes in between my legs, moving his tongue slowly this time.

"Oh, baby," I say finally surrendering to the softness of his tongue.

"Andrea," Philip whispers thrusting himself deeply inside me. My fingernails dig into his back as he moves faster and goes deeper inside me. His body is pressing down on me and covering me to the point I can hardly breathe. He is moving too fast, and being too rough. I want it to be over now, I thought.

"I have missed this so much," Philip breathes, finally releasing himself inside me.

"Me too," I said laying my head on his chest. I wasn't being honest, but I knew it was what he wanted to hear. I was trying so hard to please him.

I look into his light brown eyes, and see he is enjoying the afterglow of sex. He kisses my lips slowly, and pulls the covers over me. I watch as he gets up out of bed. I can not move. I feel pregnant and tired.

"You stay in bed, and I will get dinner," Philip whispers.

"Thank you," I smile a little.

"You were worth the wait," Philip murmurs looking in my eyes.

I look back into his eyes, and try to find the correct response. I can not come up with anything. Why did Shane have to leave me? Why did his partner kill him? Why couldn't I love Philip? All these questions running through my mind, and I look up at Philip giving him a fake smile.

"Did you enjoy the wedding?"

"Yes."

"I want to marry you," Philip whispers pressing his lips against mine.

He pulls his lips away a few minutes later, and I crawl up into bed closing my eyes. I had hoped to feel something after having sex with Philip. But I was still numb. The whole time he was fucking me, I didn't feel like I was part of it. It felt it was something happening to me, and not something I was involved in.

All the lust and passion I had died with Shane. There was none left for Philip or anyone else.

Philip stands there looking at me, and I have no feelings at all. He is still beautiful, with his sexy smile and flawless face. I just don't have any feelings of lust left. Only feelings of obligation to Philip.

"Could you see us getting married?"

"Yes, I could see that," I whisper and kiss his cheek.

Philip then smiles at me, and kisses my hair. He leaves the room to get dinner, and I close my eyes. Would I ever be happy again? Or would my I stay completely numb?


	10. Chapter 10

**11\. Twins**

Philip was holding my hand while I was having the ultra sound done.

"I don't want to know the sex," I said calmly.

"Let's find out," Philip smiled_. This would be more exciting if only Shane could be here, I thought sadly._

"Well, I can tell one thing there is more then one baby here," ultrasound tech said in her soft voice.

"You mean?"

"Yes, you two are having twins," she smiled.

"Twins. Wow," I said taking a deep breathe.

"So do you want to know the sex?"

"Yes, I changed my mind," I admitted. _I had to know if Shane was right. Was I having his son?_

"Looks like a girl and a boy," She said showing me the images of the babies.

"That's wonderful," Philip said squeezing my hand.

_Tears started to fall down my face and now everything was real. I was having these babies without Shane. This was not our plan when I got pregnant. Shane was supposed to be here. Not Philip._

"Twins, I am just overwhelmed " I whispered to Philip.

"Everything will fine. I am here," he promises.

_I hold his hand, and look at the_ _sonogram pictures. These are my babies. Mine and Shane's._

"I guess we won't have to worry about Emily being lonely," I smiled.

"Nope. Two playmates right here," Philip says touching my tummy. He takes my hand and we walk to the car.

"I have something to tell you," I said looking into Philip's eyes.

"I am sure I can handle anything after finding out we're having twins," Philip smiles with his light brown eyes.

It's so strange to him call the babies his. They are mine. Mine and Shane's.

"Well, my mom and sister are coming down. They are wanting to give me a baby shower her since you did not think it was a good idea for me to travel," I said taking his hand.

"That will be nice," he says getting the car.

I get in the car, and shut the door. Philip smiles at me again with his light brown eyes. He would not be smiling in a minute.

"Rick may be at the baby shower," I whispered.

"Why?"

"Well, I did not tell Amy about the kiss between Rick and I. So of course she invited Lori, and there is a good chance Rick will be there," I said gently.

"Tell your sister to ask Lori not to come," Philip says harshly.

"I can't do that. I am not going to be rude. Look, you will be at the baby shower and Lori is going to be there. It's not like Rick and I would do anything in front of the two of you. And we don't want to do anything anyways," I said taking his hand.

"If Rick there you can't go," He says firmly.

I get out the car, and Philip follows me. He grabs my arm, "Where are you going?"

"Away. I don't know what the hell your problem is. My family wants to have a baby shower for me and because Rick might be there you say I can't go. I wanted our relationship to work this time, but I don't think it can. I don't want to be submissive to someone all the time. It's not in my nature," I said walking away.

Philip was losing his mind. Thinking I had some secret relationship going on with Rick. I had done everything he asked. Even un added Lori and Rick on Facebook. But it was not enough. Nothing would ever be enough for him, I decided.

And I had three babies to think about now. What was I going to do now?

13\. MARRY ME OR ELSE

"Andrea, get back in the car. Where do you think you're going?"

"I need space. I am going to call Michonne to come get me," She said reaching in her purse for my cell phone . Her blonde hair is falling in curls and covering her face.

"No," I tell her grabbing her purse.

"Just leave me alone."

"Andrea, you are embarrassing yourself. Everyone is looking at you. Please let's go talk in the car," I said gently.

Damn, Andrea always so difficult. If I tell not to be around Rick, then it should never be an issue again. She should do as I asked.

"Fine," She says getting in the car.

"Look, don't forget who has been there for you. I have loved you and supported. This is how you want to repay me? Rick will use any reason to get back in your life," I say holding out my hand for her.

"Listen, Rick and I had one kiss. It lasted maybe a minute. That's it. Rick is a good man. He is not going to leave his wife and baby. And even if he would I am not going anywhere. I have been here for you too. Even when all my friends call you obsessive. I have defended you. What more can I do to reassure you of my commitment?"

"Marry me. Show everyone how much you love me," I challenge her.

"Philip…" Andrea says looking for a kind way to reject me once again.

"Here's your purse. Call Michonne, Carol, Daryl, Rick, or whoever you like," I snap at her.

"You want me to go?"

"You said you needed space. If you want to end it, we will. If you can't marry me why should we waste anymore time? I mean you were saying no, right?"

"You're being irrational," Andrea says looking through her purse.

"What are you going to do Andrea? Are you going to run away from your problems or finally grow up?"

"Why do you make me choose? Can't I just go to this baby shower? Rick and I aren't going to do anything. "

I liked seeing her ask for my permission. I like her begging. She feels vulnerable, and she needs me. That put me in power. I didn't give a shit about Rick being there. I was only using that to get my way.

"You can go. I won't be upset. But I want you to go as my wife. We're already living together anyways. Please?"

"Yes, I'll marry you," Andrea says looking into my eyes.

"When?"

"After I have the twins. Let's get things a little more settled and then we can get married," Andrea pleads.

"All right, you have the babies first. A few weeks later we'll go the courthouse and get married," I tell her as my grin broadens.

"Yes, that will be the plan. I'll tell everyone at the baby shower we're engaged," she breathes.

"Well, you need to take of your wedding rings that Shane gave you then," I said callously.

"I am not," She starts to say.

"You can do this Andrea. Give the rings to me," I commanded.

She slowly takes them off her fingers and hands them to me. I see pain in her eyes, and I get off on her hurting her. Deserved her right for hurting with Shane in the first place.

"There you go," Andrea says almost in tears watching me the rings in my shirt pocket.

This was the first step into getting rid of Shane from her mind. She was going to have to learn to focus more on me.


	11. Chapter 11

**12\. Too fast**

_Philip was pushing me over the edge. Why was I going along with this madness? Because you are alone. And Shane is dead. _

You know Philip cares about you. That is his reason for all this. Still, taking away my wedding rings felt cruel. He seemed like he was getting a kick out of my pain.

No, you are imaging things. His jealous of Rick is understandable. You were the one dating both guys. That is the only reason Philip is insecure.

"We should get you a new ring," Philip says kindly.

"Yes. You pick it out. I want to be surprised," I reply looking out the car window.

Part of me wanted to jump out of the car. Maybe, I should have taken Rick's advice and gone to stay with my parents. Even Shane's mom said I could stay with her. But I chose to stay here with Philip. The man who saved me. Still, it seemed like Philip was the one who needed help lately. Did he not understand the process of grieving?

"I will. I cannot wait to tell everyone you are mine," He smirks.

I hated how he treated me like I was a some sort of prize. Like a car or trophy. I was a person after all. Still I could not expect him to be Shane though. No one could love me the way Shane did.

"Andrea, where is that mind of yours?" Philip said when I did not answer him.

"I guess I am apprehensive about what other people will think. Us getting married so soon after Shane's murder," I said biting my lip.

"You worry too much about what others think. Everyone knows you and I dated before. It will be fine," Philip reassurances me.

" I just want to be careful how we tell people. You will let me handle that?"

"Of course. Have you thought about baby names yet?"

"No, I haven't. I mean we just found out the sex of the babies," I said taking his hand. He pulls up to Emily's daycare, and looks into my eyes.

"I like Harper or Carrie for a girl," He suggested.

"No to Carrie. Reminds me of the Stephen King novel," I said turning up my nose.

"Harper?"

"Yes, I like it," I smile in agreement.

"Good. I am going to get in Emily," Philip says getting out the car and kissing my cheek.

"I love you," I said softly to Philip. _And I know there is a part of me that really does love him. Or why else would I still be here? Why else would I put up with his crazy emotions?_


	12. Chapter 12

**13\. Baby Shower**

I was so huge when by the time my baby shower arrived. Both babies were growing, and I was put on bed rest. And the shower was moved to the house. Philip's house. My house. His house was my home now, I thought.

"You're glowing," Lori said when she arrived.

"Twins. I can't believe it," Amy smiled.

"Me either," I said looking out the window.

I watched as my mom got out of the car. She was carrying gifts for the baby, and Rick was there carrying them inside the house. Rick was here, I thought my heart beating faster. What was that about?

"Andrea," Rick said pulling into a hug.

"Rick, I missed you," I whisper into his ear.

"So you glad you made it. I thought I be the only guy here," Philip says sneaking up on us.

"Philip, see you still like whiskey. You always carry that bottle around with you?I mean who drinks at a baby shower?"

"Guys. Please don't argue," I said holding up my hand touching Rick's chest. His eyes on glued to my finger. He sees the engagement ring Philip just brought me. His blue-green eyes look up with disapproval.

"No one going to argue now. I know how important today is," Rick says staring at the ring.

"Rick is right. Today is about you and the babies. Starting our life together as family," Philip says putting his hand on my shoulder. Philip and Rick are staring at each other. Why do I feel like Philip is bragging to Rick. Because he is. In Philip's mind Rick wants me_. And Philip is letting him know that he won. Doesn't Philip know no one is keeping score? Rick loves Lori. End of story._

"Congratulations on your engagement," Rick says coldly.

"Thank you," Philip smirks. Lori, Amy, and my mom are busy setting up for the party while I am here trying to calm these two men down.

"Philip, I am going to go outside to talk with Rick," I said looking into his light brown eyes.

"What do you two need to talk about?"

"Stuff," Rick says simply.

"Please Philip. It will only be a few minutes," I whisper.

"Fifteen minutes, and I'll be out there," Philip warns. I nod my head, and Rick heads outside with me.


	13. Chapter 13

**14\. Talk **

We outside on this October day. Rick being so close to me makes it feel like Christmas. Did he know how much I missed him?

"Lori knows about the kiss. I told her. She is not angry. We been having other issues," Rick says quietly.

"She is more understanding than Philip," I replied looking away from him.

"Andrea, I told you he is no good. I know you have a daughter together, but you need to leave Philip. Don't marry him," Rick says staring at me with those blue-green eyes.

"I don't have anywhere to go," I said thinking out loud.

"That's not true. Your parents said you could live with them and Shane's mom would love to have. You've got options. Don't marry someone who is so controlling and obsessive. I mean I understand him not wanting you to talk to me. But Lori? Come on Andrea. You know Philip is trying to isolate you from everyone," Rick said passionately.

"It's complicated Rick. I love him. Maybe not everything about him But once we get married Philip will feel more secure about the relationship. He'll calm down," I whisper.

"He won't calm down. He will only get more controlling. I have seen his type. He will try to change you. And you won't be the Andrea I love anymore," Rick said moving closer to me.

I stare into his blue-green eyes, smell the sweetness of his cologne, and feel the softness of his skin as I touch his hand. Suddenly I see Rick in a way I never had before.

"I will always be the Andrea you love," I whisper into his ear_. What did I want Rick to leave Lori for me? Break up his family? Take Emily away from her father that she loved? No, I could not act on any feelings I might have for Rick. Feelings that many only be there because he reminds you of Shane. Shane is gone, but Philip is here. Philip loves you. You love him as much as it is possiable._

"I am scared Philip will kill you. Andrea it's not a healthy relationship. Let me ask you something, you love Shane? What would he think? He would never want Philip taking care of his babies."

I looked into Rick's eyes unable to find the words. Just the mentioning of Shane's name makes me want to break into tears. Does he want to tear my heart apart?

"What the hell?" Philip says walking over to us.

"Philip, we're not doing anything," I promised.

Philip places his on my shoulder looking into my blue eyes. The touch of his hands gives a reminder me of his authoritative presence, not that had forgotten.

"I know you aren't Andrea. It's Rick. I heard him talking about Shane. I know how upset that makes you. He is trying to take advantage again. Let's go inside," Philip says looking to my eyes.

"Andrea, please don't marry him," Rick says heartbroken.

"Rick you don't have to worry about me. Focus on you family," I said looking into his eyes.

"Yeah, I'll take care of Andrea," Philip grins.

Rick says nothing and we all go back inside. Lori walks over to Rick smiling. I set there still trying to understand what is going on with Rick. Does he want to leave Lori? He still holding on to feelings from the past? Or does he just want me away from Philip?

Don't think about that now. Focus on the party. Think about your babies Harper and Shane Jr. This is there day.

"Would you like some cake? The guests are here now," My sister says sweetly.

"Yeah. Let's go get some cake," I said walking with her.

"I was just talking to Philip, and he is very intriguing. Perhaps judge him wrong," Amy said pushing her blonde hair out of her eyes.

"I am glad you said that," I smiled slowly. _I showed her my engagement ring, and got ready to tell the whole story of how we got back together. _


	14. Chapter 14

**15\. Cheater**

_Let me ask you something, you love Shane? What would he think? He would never want Philip taking care of his babies. I could hear those words over and over. Rick's words had really gotten to me._

I am eating a piece of cake, mostly the icing when Lori walks over.

"You are so excited about the babies," she says sweetly looking at my huge tummy.

"Would be more excited if Shane was still here," I said softly.

"Shane loved you. You were his true love Andrea," Lori said.

"He was mine," I said looking at my plate of cake. Suddenly I did not feel so hungry.

"I want to thank you for sending Rick back to me," Lori said plainly.

"You mean after the kiss?"

"Yes, I know the kiss. Rick was upset with me. I cheated on him. And he had this crush on you in high school. He came here , and I don't think he had any intentions of coming back. I know we haven't always see things eye to eye. But thank you," Lori said hugging me tightly.

"Rick loves you. Take care him. Don't cheat on him again," I said feeling overprotective of Rick.

"I won't ever hurt Rick again. And I am happy for you. I know Rick does not like Philip. Still when I was around him today, he was quite charming. Philip loves you, Andrea," Lori whispers.

"Yes, he does," I said half-smiling.

I watch as she walks off. I see her with Rick. _That should be me and Shane. We should be a happy family .He should not be dead. _I feel myself unable to breathe. Suddenly Philip walks over. I step toward him, and wrap my arms all the way around him.

"I love you," I whisper in his ear.

"Don't worry about Rick said. Shane would not be upset with you. You are a good mother," Philip says reading my mind. _How did he know Rick's words would upset me so much?_

"I think I need to take to a rest. All the games, presents, and talking to everyone has gotten me tired. Plus the twins won't stop kicking," I said looking those light brown eyes.

"I'll let everyone know," He says sweetly.

I walk across the hall to the bedroom, and take off my party dress. I find a pair gray cloth pants and a dark blue tee-shirt. I pick it up and hold it to my nose. This is Shane's shirt. I slide it on over my head, and my whole body feels warm with it on. Today was a difficult day. Shane should be here, I thought laying down.

Rick was right, I admitted to myself. Shane wouldn't want me with Philip. Wouldn't want the twins anywhere near him. But Shane is not here, Philip is. That the way it is.

I was even more confused after today, but now I needed to rest. Take care of the twins. That's what is important now.

"Everyone has gone home now. Your mom and sister went back to the hotel. I told them to come back later," Philip says handing me a glass of milk.

"Thank you," I reply taking the milk. I slowly take a sip.

"Don't worry about Rick. He should have not said that," Philip says touching my back.

"Rick is worried about me. He is convinced you are the one who murdered Shane. I don't know why. They already have the murder in jail, but I can't reason with him," I whispered.

"Just stay away from Rick like planned. His family is falling apart and wants to turn you against me," Philip said his light brown eyes glowing.

"No one will turn me against you. I would never leave you. Not after everything we have been through," I said giving him the empty glass.

"That's all I need to hear. Now I am going to let you rest," Philip says kissing my hair.

I get in bed when he leaves the room. _I close my eyes trying to forget what Rick said. It was not easy. I still cared about Rick. And I wish he had told me Lori cheated. I am not so sure I would have encouraged him to go back with her if I knew. But he was with Lori now. What done is done, I thought closing my eyes._


	15. Chapter 15

**16\. Babies**

The twins were born at thirty eights weeks and were perfect. Both Harper and Shane Jr. looked just like there daddy..

"You'd be so proud," I whispered to Shane in the sky. I couldn't stop smiling at their sweet faces while I looked at them sleeping.

Philip brought Emily in. I looked over and saw my big girl. She was two now.

"Babies," Emily said quietly.

"Yes they are your brother and sister," I said kissing Emily's hair.

"They are beautiful," Philip said smiling at me.

"Yes, thank you for being here," I said taking Philip's hand.

"I would not be anywhere else," he said smiling.

"I am so thankful for you. Would it be too much if I had a few moments alone with the twins?"

"No, I'll take Emily to the gift shop. We will be right back," Philip said light brown eyes shinning.

I nodded as he places the babies back into my arms. I never wanted to put them down. I was afraid they would disappear.

"_Hey sweet babies, your daddy can't be here today. He is in heaven. And I know much you will miss him. I will miss him too. But we will keep him in our hearts," I promised them kissing their little faces. _

_I could see tears falling down on my face. I didn't even try to hide it. I was heartbroken from missing Shane and thinking about how he miss our his son and daughter's lives._


	16. Chapter 16

**17\. Trespassing**

_I had meet Daryl at Andrea's baby shower. We became quick friends because neither one of liked Philip. And that was the reason I had asked him for help._

"You are Andrea's friend, right?"

"Yes, man. But I don't want to go to jail for this shit," Daryl said looking at me unconvinced.

"Look, I know in heart Philip killed Shane. She has to know the truth about him. If we are going to find anything it will be inside that house," I told him.

"All right, I'll help you break in. But if they have a security system we're fucked," Daryl said.

Arriving at the house I noticed a pile of rocks. Looking closing I could see one was larger than the others. I picked it up. Looking closely, I saw plastic key holder that looked like a rock.

I showed Daryl the key, and unlocked the door. Everyone in the neighborhood was asleep. So no one saw us. We walked carefully around the house. _Nothing looked out of the ordinary at first chance. _

"Rick, you have to see this," Daryl said.

I walked to the extra bedroom where Daryl was. In his hands there was a notebook. Inside there were pictures of Andrea. Not only that ,but a lot of Shane with Andrea. Some at the wedding. It did not prove Philip was a murder, but it showed he was stalking them.

"Holy shit," I said staring closely at the images. One was of Andrea and Shane making out.

"That's not all," Daryl said holding up a necklace I recognize anywhere. The number twenty-two, Shane's football number.

"Shane lost this two weeks before he was murder," I said taking the necklace in my hands.

"More like psycho stalker stole it," Daryl replied.

"But why?"

"Hell, who knows what going on in his head. But there isn't anything else. We have to get out of here Rick, before Philip returns," Daryl warned. _I took the necklace and notebook. If this didn't show Andrea the light, nothing would._


	17. Chapter 17

**18\. Run for your life **

_I had my doubts about marrying Philip. Something in my gut told me not too. Still, how could I leave him? After everything he done for me and the twins. I felt like I owed him. All that changed when Rick came over._

Philip was gone to work and this was my first with the twins by myself. Plus Emily. I heard a knock at the door. I rushed to get it hoping it would be Philip already on lunch break. It was not Philip. It was Rick.

"Rick, I am not supposed to see you," I said starting to close the door in his face.

"Andrea, I have something to show you," Rick said pushing the door open. He showed Shane's necklace that he had lost and a notebook. Inside were pictures of me taken in private moments. Some while I was asleep. There were also pictures of Shane and I kissing. What the hell was this?

"Where did you find this? What the fuck is this?"

"I broke into your house. I am sorry, but I found these items in Philip's man cave room. Maybe you should look around yourself," Rick said blue-green eyes glowing.

"What the hell is wrong with him? Looks obsessed with Shane and I," I said staring at these sickening images.

"And Philip kept this notebook. With Shane's necklace. You have to come with me now. There is no time to waste," I hesitated and looked at the front door_. I was so close to being free. I could run away with Rick. Take my babies and get away from this madman. How could I ever thought for a moment I could love Philip? He clearly had more problems than I knew about._

"Let me get a bag together," I whispered.

"Hurry," Rick insisted.

But the word hurry did not go along with three kids. Two that were newborns. I placed Shane's necklace around my necklace. Maybe Philip did have something to with Shane's death. Why else did he have this necklace?

My bag is ready, we have the twins in their infant carriers, but it's too late. Philip is at the door. I knew he was coming home for lunch. Shit. What was I going to do now?

"What the hell is going on?" Philip says taking one look at me and Rick.

"Why did you have Shane's necklaces? And what the fuck is up with this book?"

"Andrea you promised me no more Rick. Now he is here. I was at work providing for my family and you are going out with him behind my back," Philip said hurt.

"Don't change the subject. Why did you steal Shane's necklace?"

"I didn't. Andrea, I found that necklace in some of your things when you moved in. I put it up because I knew it would upset you. That was wrong of me. And I am sorry," Philip said gently.

"What about the book? How can you explain that?"

"I have never seen it. Maybe Rick made it. Now, come on baby. Get the kids inside and tell Rick to leave," Philip said grabbing my arm.

"No, Rick didn't take these pictures. He couldn't have. He was in Florida. Shane and I were here. You took them," I said moving away from him.

"Please just calm down. Just tell Rick to go and we will talk about this book,"Philip said gently.

"No, I am done talking. I am leaving with Rick. Maybe we can talk later," I said grabbing my bag.

"Okay, Andrea. We'll do this your way. Why do you always have to make things so damn difficult?" Philip said holding out a gun. I did not even know he owned a gun, I thought scared.

"What are you doing?" I questioned him.

"Go to the bedroom. Rick is coming with me," he said pointing the gun at Rick's head. Was Rick unarmed? Would Philip kill him? What was I going to do?

"I am sorry Andrea. I tried so hard to save you," Rick said looking me with those blue-green eyes.

"Shut up, asshole," Philip said taking Rick into the other room.

Rick had to have told someone he was coming here ,right? He was a police officer. Surely, he had some sort of plan. Lori would know at least. I had to believe someone would come looking for us.

Still, Philip could have already killed Rick by now. Maybe he killed Shane. I was not sure what he was capable of at this point. But I knew there was one thing I could do. I could make a run for it.

I looked over at my three babies. There was no way I could take any of them with me. And I knew Philip had the car keys to both vehicles in his pocket. The only thing I could do was make a run for it, and pray I could get help in time.


	18. Chapter 18

**19\. Sealed my fate**

_I opened the door and made a run for it. I am unarmed, and know that it is only a matter of time before Philips realizes I have left. The door closed loudly. Shane Jr. had started crying, and I am running as fast as possible. I knock on several houses. But it's one a clock on a work day. No one is home. I needed to make it to the highway, I thought._

I am running not looking back. And then I hear Philip's voice.

"Andrea, baby. You need to come home with me. You just had surgery," Philip is pleading.

I ignore his pleads and try to keep running. The highway isn't that far from the house. But my body is still sore. I know he is getting closer. Suddenly he grabs me, and points a gun to my head. I look around there is no one to see us. He could kill me right here, I thought.

"You ready to go home now?"

"Yes," I answered. I had no choice at this point. _**My fate was sealed**_, I was going to die. Leaving my children with no mother. Poor Emily, Harper, and Shane. How could I die now when there was so much to live for?

Philip drags me back to the house, and leads me to the room where Rick is tied down to a chair.

"Are you going to kill Rick? Like you did Shane?" I asked Philip demanding answers. _I wanted him to admit it. I needed to know the truth about what happened to my love_.

"I did not kill Shane. That's what Rick has convinced you to believe. But it's not true," Philip says throwing me on the bed. He has more rope and ties me up as well.

"Please, don't do this," I said looking over at helpless Rick. _Why did he risk his life for mine? Why did I not listen to Rick? I should have gone to Florida with him. I would have been safe._

"Andrea, it's going to okay. We'll get through this together," Rick says his blue-green eyes staring back at mine.

In that moment, I knew Rick was someone I could fall in love with. Maybe the only person I could love besides Shane. He was kind, honest, sexy, and had a good heart. And he knew me in a way most people couldn't. But none of this mattered now. Because Philip was going to kill us both.

"Your lover is comforting you," Philip smirks.

"Rick and I are only friends. He is not my lover," I said loudly.

" Well, he wants to fuck you. I can see it in his eyes," Philip said pointing a gun at my head.

"You're right. I love Andrea. I always have. How could I not? She is the type of girl who asks a hundred questions, but she already knows the answers. She loves to drink whiskey, and has the cutest laugh. She's tough as hell, but still needs someone to hold her. Who couldn't love Andrea?" Rick said his voice even softer now.

And I knew after hearing Rick's words something had changed. I had fallen in love again.

This time with Rick. This was a different more gradual love then I had with Shane. I thought of our dances at prom, hugging him the day of my wedding, and finally the one kissed we shared. There was always an unspoken bond between us.

I knew that bond was there now as we sat next to each other tied up in these chairs, and that I loved him too_. But I couldn't admit it. As much as I wanted to. Saying the words would guarantee Philip would kill us both._

"Your lover is making his true feelings know," Philip says moving the gun down my body.

"Please kill me, but let Andrea go," Rick pleaded with Philip.

"I should just kill you both," Philip laughed wickedly.

"You can't. I don't love Rick. I told you," I lied. I see hurt in Rick's eyes, but he knows I am trying to reason with Philip.

"I know when you are lying, and it's too late. Rick has to die unless," Philip says.

"Unless what?"

"You marry me today, and then I'll let Rick go," his voice sounds pure evil.

"Don't do it Andrea," Rick yells seeing I am thinking about going along with his demands.

"I hate you Philip. How could you do this to me? I gave myself to you foolishly," I said heatedly.

"That's the choice. Either you marry me or I kill Rick," Philip says brown eyes dancing.

"Don't do Andrea. It's not worth it. A life with him wouldn't be worth a damn," Rick said.

_God, Rick is so beautiful. Inside I ache. I know Shane would be allright with me moving on with Rick. And Lori did not deserve him. Still, none of this matters._

"If you don't Andrea, your boyfriend will die," Philip says moving closer.

Our eyes meet, and I know without any doubt he was the one who killed my sweet Shane. Now he was going to take away my best childhood friend that I loved too. I hated him. He is a monster.

"How do I know that if I marry you that you won't still kill Rick?"

"You have my word," Philip promises.

"Like that means a lot," Rick said loudly.

"I'll do it. But I want to kiss Rick goodbye first," I said determined.

"Absolutely not," Philip said angrily.

"That's my solution," I said looking at Rick.

"Fine. One last kiss, and then you are mine," Philips says laughing cruelly. He unties me and I walk up to Rick tied to the chair. I stare into his blue-green eyes. I could not let Philip kill another person I loved.

"Don't do this, Andrea."

_There is a sadness in his voice when he answered me, and I knew that my feelings for Rick were transparent._

"I love you, Rick," I whispered softly in his ear where only he could hear it. _In the few moments we had our eyes met, and I knew we both could feel the love that was there. I pressed my lips against his. I start running my fingers through his hair. His tongue moved against mine, and for a minute I forget about Philip even being in the room. It was only Rick and I._

"Time is up. We have to go now," Philip said pulling me from Rick. Tears started falling down my face. There was no way to know that Philip wouldn't still hurt Rick. It's a gamble, I thought. But at this point I had nothing to lose. Philip grabs my arm leading me out of the room. I look at Rick one last time before I have to leave.

"Don't marry him," Rick mouthed with no sound, and this breaks my heart because I know I have no choice. More tears start to fall as I stare at Rick unable to move.

"Or you coming or not?" Philip says forcefully. Finally, unwillingly, I turn away from Rick and leave the room.

**AN: What do you think? How do you think it should end?**


	19. Chapter 19

**20\. pity**

"Why are you doing this?"

"I have done too much to lose you now," Philip says looking at me intensely.

"What have you done?"

"That does not matter now. We need to go to the courthouse now," Philip said finally.

"Let Rick go first," I demanded.

"No, if I do that you won't go through with the marriage," Philip said.

"If I marry you then you might not Rick go. You can't hurt him. This is between us," I said taking a deep breath.

"I will. But Rick is going to press charges against me. Probably kidnapping and assault. I need you to say that he is lying. Can you do that?"

"Yes, I'll even tell Rick not to contact the police. Just let him go," I begged.

I close my eyes, praying this was some terrible, unimaginable nightmare.

Maybe I was not in love with Philip, but I did love him. Seeing him losing it was too much. How could I not know that Philip was batshit crazy? How did I miss him taking those intimate pictures of Shane and I? I was under Philip's spell. Blinded by my lust, I thought sadly.

"I will eventually ," Philip reassured me.

"Let's get this over. I'll never love you. My heart will always belong to Shane. I feel nothing for you but pity," I said furiously.

"Too bad for you. Shane is dead. He was a motherfucking pussy. Couldn't defend himself," Philip said grabbing me by the arm.

"Your not half the man Shane was," I said under my breath.

"I would be nice to me, Andrea. Now go get dress, and give me that damn necklace. If you do that maybe I won't send you back to the hospital," Philip said point the gun at me_. Sadly, I handed over Shane's necklace. I wanted something of Shane's to hold in my hands, I thought. With my wedding rings and the necklace gone I had nothing. _

Walking into the bedroom I see Philip has his eyes on me. I notice as he watches me take a bath. There is a good chance, he is still going to kill me or Rick. Probably both.

"For what it's worth, I never sleep with Rick," I tell Philip as I get out of the bathtub. I towel myself off.

Why did I feel like I should even explain myself to him? He has kidnapped you and Rick. Keeping you with him by force. Because you are playing along with his games. You have no choice. This is the only way you can stay alive.

"I know. I have kept a close eye on you for a while now, but I know you want to sleep with him. That's just as bad," Philip says watching me get dressed.

I say nothing. I put on a mint green dress and gold sandals. I am getting married. Married to a murder, I thought my hands shaking.

"You're beautiful," Philip says gently as I walk into the living room. I know now he has switched back into loving boyfriend and father mode.

He walks over and kisses me. I put my arms around and kiss him back.

_He takes my hand._

_I watch as he puts the kids in the car sets. For the moment everything feels normal. We're a couple who is going to the courthouse to get married._

_But I know that's not the case. Rick is tied up in the house, and I am being forced to marry Philip. Somehow I managed to say my vows to Philip and the sign the papers. He is trying to be sweet to be. As if he could somehow make up for kidnapping Rick and I._

**21\. Saving her**

_Being tied up was not going to stop me. I was going to save Andrea and myself. She was not safe with Philip. Neither were her children._

Philip had taken my cell phone, car keys, pocket knife, and everything else I had on me. Still I was able to break free from the rope while they were gone.

I hear them return before I am able to leave the house. Shit, Philip is going to come in here and it will all be over. I wait and wait. He does not enter the room. Suddenly I hear them arguing.

"I can't make love to you. Even if I wanted to. I just had a c-section three weeks doctor said I had to wait six weeks," Andrea pleads with him.

"You will be fine. Now get on the bed," Philip tells her.

"Please stop. It hurts," I hear Andrea sobbing in the background.

I had to do something to stop this. I couldn't allow him to hurt Andrea.

I started walking closer to the bedroom. I was not a lucky man, but today must have been my day. On the kitchen table there was gun along with other weapons. I take the gun and go in the bedroom. I am prepared to shoot if I have too.

"I believe she asked you to stop," I said pointing the gun at Philip.

"You won't shoot. You are not a killer Rick. Just go home to your wife, and leave Andrea here," Philip says showing me that he has a gun in hand. I see Andrea handcuffed and naked.

"No way in hell. I am not going to let you kill Andrea," I said out loud mostly to myself.

I don't have to time to think. He is moving closer with the gun. I pull the trigger shooting Philip's lower chest. I take the hand cuffs off of Andrea, and she wraps her arms around me.

"We have to call an ambulance and the police," I tell her. She moves away from my embrace and hands me the phone from Philip's pocket.

I dial the numbers while Andrea checks Philip's heartbeat. The ambulance arrives taking him away, and the police come in to ask us a lot of questions. After what seems like forever Andrea and I are allowed to leave the police station.

_I look into her dark blue eyes and take her hand. I had no idea how I could comfort her after everything she has been through. But I would try._

**21\. The end**

_Rick was there, and everything felt right. Even though everything had fallen apart._

"Here, I thought you should have this back," Rick said handing me Shane's necklace that had the number twenty two on it. _We are taking a walk outside._

_The kids are with Beth and Daryl so I could have some time to calm down._

"Thank you. How did you get it back?" I said taking his hand as we walk on the same street Philip was chasing me on. _I needed to get out of here, I thought to myself._

"It was on the kitchen table along with the weapons. I knew you want it back," Rick said looking at me with those blue-green eyes.

"You're amazing, and you opened my eyes to who Philip really is. I am so glad that he'll serve some jail time for kidnapping us," I said putting the necklace back on. Wearing it made me feel better somehow.

"I know. But some day we'll prove he killed Shane," Rick promises.

"God, just thinking about Shane being killed because of Philip. I feel like it's all my fault," I said moving closer to Rick.

"Don't Philip was charming. Anyone could have been fooled," Rick reassured me.

"I know, but living without Shane seems impossible. Well, it not so bad when you are around."

"You starting to be fond of me?"

"Rick, I love you. I realized that when Philip almost killed you. It's not the same love I had for Shane, but it's very real. And I know you have to go back to Lori now. I understand that, but I'll never stop wondering what might have been," I said honestly.

"I am not going back to Lori. She cheated on me again, and she is pregnant by her new boyfriend. I have filed for divorce. I want to be with you. I meant what I said the other day," Rick says taking my hand. His touch causes my whole body to get warm.

"Well, I am going to have to get an annulment myself," I said softly.

"I know. But I still want you to come home with me. We don't have to move fast. I Just can't say goodbye to you again. Not after everything we have been through," Rick said running his fingers through his dark blonde hair.

" I will," I said leaning in to kiss Rick.

_His lips press against mine and wraps his arms all the around me, and suddenly it starts to rain. Even though it's pouring down rain we don't stop kissing. Our lips stay locked and his hands move all over my body. For the first time since Shane's death I actually feel something. Philip may have stopped me from committing suicide, but it took Rick to bring back to life_.

We both, know our  
Own limitations, and that's why we're strong  
Now that we've spent some time apart  
We're leading each other, out of the dark

\- Gavin DeGraw


End file.
